Have you ever experienced that you are torn between friendship and career? Have you felt before that sometimes your greatest competitor/rival was your closest friend? Well if yes, I hope you can identify with the story below.
This was the letter of my friend:
Please help me I need your advices regarding the two important things in my life.
I’m going to be transferred to another department which i think to a higher position… the problem is, before it was offered to me it was offered to another employee which happens to be my friend here in the company. She was so upset coz the new position was being offered to me now. They consider me to fill the position instead of her.
I try to approach her coz i know how she feels.. masakit kaya un parang ang dating pinaasa lang siya… tapos ako pa ung umeeksena….One time, I called her name and she look back but she just respond with a blunt face with no reaction at all. That time I felt that she was hurt, and might be angry with me.
I know it wasn’t so easy for her that she’s competing with me and it really breaks my heart. They ( HR) already talked to her and she said that it was ok for her and she already accepted it, but upon seeing her i know it’s not… and it bothers me so much. I know that she was just covering her emotions with a lifeless smile.
I just thought na ganito ba talaga my kapalit ang lahat ng bagay or it’s just how you look at the situation. na parang you really have to choose ba talaga?? bakit di na lang pareho para everybody is happy… it’s not being selfish naman kung every body will be happy for their own good…
I felt na naging kontrabida ako.. ok lang sakin na irefuse ung offer kaya lang naisip ko ung challenge, yung eagerness na matuto kasi it’s new for me… i’m being plastic kapag sinabi ko na ayaw ko ung position. ang totoo gustong gusto ko.. i like challenge edwin.. i don’t want to be stuck here.Gusto ko ng mas challenging.. kasi alam ko naman na kaya ko.. at kakayanin ko, kaya lang nasasakripisyo ang pagkakaibigan namin.
Drake, what should I do?? i like the position… but hapiness won’t be complete kapag alam ko na may masasagasaan akong tao tapos friend ko pa… that’s why its very difficult for me… Please help, should I refuse the offer? I don’t want our friendship will end just because of this? But I lke the new position so much.
Thank you and best regards;
Upon reading your stories , I can relate to your predicaments! I know the feeling that you’re torn between your career and your friend. And I will consider both sides. If you will ask me to choose between these two important things in your life right now. I will choose my career!!! Why? Coz choosing your career doesn’t necessary mean that you are trashing the friendship, of which both of you had established for a long time. You are not being selfish or a kontrabida to your friend. If she’s your true friend she will definitely understand the situation. Try to approach her, try to explain what the real circumstances are. Tell her about your true feelings about the new position . I know sometimes it is so hard to approach someone if we knew the fact that she or he was so upset and saddened because of us. Sometimes all the things we wanted to say and utter will be stuck in our throat and we can’t say even a single word, why? it is because we are being preoccupied by our thoughts of we might hurt his or her feelings more!!!But please don’t be frightened about it, you should try to gather all the strength that you will need and tell everything to her. Tell her that it was beyond your control, and you are being offered by the company a new position which you think it will make your personal and career grow. She deserve an explanation from you not an apology coz you didn’t commit any mistakes against her.
You and I know what your heart desire, and you should follow it. We often heard about this saying “Opportunity knocks once. Therefore don’t let this opportunity pass to your hand, if you think you will be happy with it and you will have a career and personal growth (that you are waiting for so long) then grabs it. If you think that you will not be 100 percent happy because you’ve hurt your friend then rubbish all that thoughts.
Ikaw lang naman ang nagsasabing hindi ka 100 percent na masaya eh!!! Pero kaya mo naman maging Masaya di ba!! You are not being selfish, please bear it to your mind, you are just following your heart. If you think that she will not be happy for you, then that’s the thing she has to overcome and deal with herself. It is not your problem anymore it’s her now. Refusing an offer can result of getting nothing. Possibly, the Management will get another one not either of you or your friend, so both you and she will loose the new position that you are dreaming for so long. There’s no assurance that if you will refuse the offer, your friend will definitely have the position.
Tandaan mo, di mo sya inaapakan o di kaya sinulot ang isang bagay mula sa kanya, coz in the first place you didn’t make any move to oust her or destroy her reputation in order for you to clutch the position from her. It was just that the Management believes in your skills and qualifications, that’s all. They think that you are better on that position instead of her, and you really deserve it
My friend, this is your chance, so please grab it, walang kang inapakan tao kasi wala kang ginawang masama para lang makuha yung position nay un. Free your self from the thoughts that you have put somebody down for your personal gain, coz that is not true, and even in your wildest thoughts and dreams you will not do it. Kilala kita kaya sabihin mo ito sa kanya!! If she doesn’t understand it or if she felt that you’ve betrayed her then it only proves that she is not your true friend. Understand her if there’s some bitterness in her hearth coz it is very hard for her either, but if she’s your true friend she will accept it and just be happy for you.
My friend asks for god’s help!!! Alam mo tutulungan ka nya!! May tinatawag na “CONVICTION”, it is something from God. Kung sakaling mas malakas ang sabi sa dibdib mo na kunin mo ang isang bagay na alam mo namang makakabuti sa iyo at alam mo na wala kang ginagawng masama, then grab it!!! Pero kung malakas yung conviction mo na masyado kang magiging upset and depress sa isang desisyon na gagawin mo then wag mo na ngang kunin!!! So ano ba ang conviction mo???!!! Ano ba ang nasa puso mo???!! Basta inuulit ko wala kang ginawang masama, wala kang sinagasaang tao o inapakan. Desisyon ng Management na kunin ka kasi naniniwala sila sa iyo at alam mo sa sarili mo na maggogrow ka duon!!! Kung kaibigan ka nya maiintindihan ka nya!!!
Your friendship will be tested on this situation!!! Pero ito naman ang magiging paraan para makilala mo sya ng lubusan!!! If you can do anything for her just to ease her pain then gawin mo yun!! Kung kailngan paliwanagan sya lagi lagi gawin mo!!! Basta sabihin mo na wala kang ginawa para di nya makuha yung position na yun!!! Tandaan mo yung sinabi ko!! Sana natulungan kita!